2023, a year of love!
The end of another year is almost here and like so many I have taken time to pause, to reflect, to journal, to connect with the energy of the year and see all the blessings it has brought me, even the ones hidden in challenges.
It has been an interesting year in business, how we do generate business is ever changing and, in the times, we live in, I have watched people do and achieve beautiful things and I have also seen people do low vibe things to create business, to create money. People I had had respect for, people within my circle and outside it. I have had feelings of disappointment, disgust in others and I have also had absolute joy and excitement for those around me who have created success, but today I want to write about something entirely different. My journey of life this year. A journey of love.
As I am sure many of you who follow me and know me, know that this time last year my dad’s health started to spiral down the hardest path, end of life. After two years of fighting with dignity and staying positive, he got tired, and his body did too. A 5-month journey of love and heartache began.
I remember walking into the hospital in April to collect him from a blood transfusion He was fast asleep, and something hit me, I knew in that moment he had decided to die. I do believe we do this. My heart broke.
Whilst he slept on, the nursing team spent 45 minutes picking me up of the floor and talking to me. I had kept everything within me for all of this time, making sure my dad and my daughters were ok and here I was unable to stay in control of my emotion state any longer. That was the first time I lost my dad.
For the two years beforehand, I had had a massive ‘driver’ in business. I had been determined to have enough money in the business to be able to take time out to be with him at his end-of-life stage and I did it. I achieved it and I am grateful for that!
When you sit beside someone you love, your rock, your ally in this world and watch them perishing at a rapid speed before you, you do a lot of thinking, reflecting, feeling, soul searching is probably the easiest way to describe it. So I thought I would share with those who wish to listen, what this year and sitting there taught me or showed me about life and love.
People will let you down. When you are walking through something so challenging you discover painfully that the people who said they would be there for you, who said that they would help you practically as well as emotionally are never actually the ones there at the end. And that’s ok. They need to be where they need to be. However, you will truly see who stands beside you. You will truly discover what friendship and love is and the people who stand beside you through something like this, step forward as new rocks, allies in this world. Love those people.
Life is priceless but the only thing that holds any true value when you lose a loved one, are your memories. Build memories with your loved ones this year. It is the only thing nothing and no one can take from you. Love is limitless and within it you find strength.
I did not leave my dad’s side, especially in the final five days of his life when I slept in his room at the hospice. I made a promise to him that he would not walk this path alone. Nothing else matters. I would still be sat there today if he was there too and I would let everything else in my world fall away, simply because every moment becomes precious to you. Even the hardest moments.
Cherish all the moments you have to spend time with loved ones. You never get those moments, those opportunities again. I was lucky in that for two years we knew this was coming. I had all the conversations, the tears, the laughter I needed to heal. Others don’t get that. Sometimes we lose people in a heartbeat and there is so much left unsaid, unfelt, undone. Tell someone you love them today. Show someone you love them today.
Death is beautiful and painful all at the same time. Death is inevitable. Death comes to remind us to live to remind us to live we.2023 has been a year of tears and laughter, healing, recovering, friendship and love. We have had amazing ‘wins’ as a family this year. ‘Wins’ my dad would be proud of! It is a year that asked me to grow as a person, to accept help, to feel responsible for the world and probably most powerful, to be present and appreciate the abundance in the moment that I am in.
As I write this, I am packing up the home we all lived in, ready for a fresh start in the new year. I am ready, my life is ready, and my heart is finally back in the business I love. Serving others. Whatever you are planning to do in 2024, make plans with those you love. Have a powerful, abundant, 2024.
Love and blessings
Thank you for reading!
PS In March 2025 I am trekking across Iceland to raise money for the hospice, I would really appreciate it. You can do that here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/samantha-yasmin-iceland2024